Why are you having a wedding?
If you answered “to get married” *sound the buzzer* because that’s the wrong answer.
You can get married in your backyard or a courthouse for $500 and be just as married at the end as with an elaborate or meaningful ceremony. Before you plan your wedding it’s important for you and your partners to find the PURPOSE behind why you are getting married, and have this be the driving force behind any and all wedding decisions you make.
So, what exactly is a wedding purpose? A wedding isn’t just about getting married: it can be about bringing families together, being celebrated by family and loved ones, celebrating your culture or the union of cultures, or even that you want to party and celebrate your marriage. Every wedding purpose is as unique as the couple it defines, and explain the why, the what, and the who of your wedding. It’s what will make your wedding feel like it belongs to you and your partner(s).
What need does having a wedding fulfill?
Why is it important to have a wedding and why now?
Who are you celebrating with? Why?
What impact do you want the wedding to have on them?
When you think back about your wedding day years from now, what would have had to happen for you both to feel really great about your wedding day?
These questions aren’t something you should be able to answer off the top of your head: spend some time really thinking about and discussing each answer. Putting time and effort into this very beginning stage of planning is going to give you direction, ease, and reassurance throughout every other stage of your wedding planning process.
Once you have your answers look at them together and see the similarities and themes across all of them. Are the presence and experiences of your guests a major or minor part of your purpose? What is going to make this day special to you and your partner(s) when you look back at it? Are the reasons driving you to have a wedding truly about you and your partner(s). Remember that your wedding and its purpose should be all about you and your partner(s): you’re never going to please everyone so don’t try, have a wedding because you want to have a wedding.
Many people have weddings because it’s what you’re supposed to do when you get married, and how they plan their weddings is about following tradition and pleasing the people in their lives. A wedding purpose is about finding the true intentions behind your decision to have a wedding, and ensuring that in every step of planning the focus is on you and your partner(s), not about tradition or the expectations of others. Your wedding should be a reflection of your relationship and love with and for your partners, find a purpose that reflects that and the actual planning of your wedding will start to make a lot more sense.