They Said Yes! So Now What? | After You Get Engaged | The Un-Wedding Podcast

Corina Waldie 0:11

Welcome to the Un-Wedding Podcast. I'm Corina

Sydney Spidell 0:14

and I'm Sydney.

Corina Waldie 0:15

We're two neurodiverse wedding planners who are committed to empowering nearlyweds to throw the wedding rulebook, shrink their guests lists and create a meaningful, purposeful wedding experience. We're taking the wedding industry by storm and disrupting the status quo. We're the un-wedding planners and we invite you to join our movement.

Sydney Spidell 0:33

We record our podcast from Treaty Six Territory, a traditional gathering place for diverse Indigenous peoples, including the Cree, Blackfoot, Metis, Nakota Sioux, Iroquois, Dene, Ojibwe, Salto, Anishinaabe, Inuit, and many others, whose histories, languages and cultures continue to influence our vibrant community. Welcome to the first episode and our new series on the Un-Wedding Podcast - What to do After You Get Engaged. Engagement season is upon us it's the 12 weeks between American Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day, an estimated 40% of couples get engaged in this time. We're going to break down what you should do both immediately after getting engaged and what to do in the days, weeks, and months after not only to help you rock your wedding planning journey, but also to set the tone for your engagement - an all important and often glazed over stage of intimate relationships

Corina Waldie 1:35

In this week's episode, we're going to be breaking down some of the steps you can take immediately after that ring drops and in the days following. We have tips on how to share the news with loved ones on social media, all while focusing on your relationship and setting the tone for this all important next stage of your relationship. Transitioning from being a dating couple to an engaged one. And the first thing, take a breath. Breathe in Sydney.

Sydney Spidell 2:00

It's a good reminder, I actually needed to do that. So it's it's good. Yeah. Okay, so we just got to take this moment. Yes. I will. I will, Corina. And just yeah, let it sink into it - let us sink into this moment before, you know, telling anybody and not anybody as in like keep it secret, keep it safe - but, you know, there's probably people that are already in on this, whether they helped with ring shopping, or they helped with the planning for the proposal itself, or they just knew it was going on in conversation.

Corina Waldie 2:36

Well, you know, I do think there's this thing that happens in our society and especially with something big like an engagement or having a baby or buying a house, where it is definitely this big milestone moment and naturally you're excited and you want to share that detail and that that's happened

Sydney Spidell 2:56

But sharing for us is so different than it was even 20 years ago.

Corina Waldie 3:01

Yeah, like, don't get me wrong, like when I got engaged 12 years ish ago, you know, this idea of sharing on social media (was new). This is pre Instagram, pre Tiktok. You know, pre most of the modern platforms, Snapchat, it's was mostly Facebook and only Facebook. And definitely, there's this whole thing at the time around changing your relationship status.

Sydney Spidell 3:24

Oh, yeah.

Corina Waldie 3:25

I don't know if you remember those?

Sydney Spidell 3:26

Oh, I remember. I remember the days. I remember little anarchist, me refusing to put single on my profile, because if it had to be single, then it would mean it would change when a man entered into my life and no way Jose.

Corina Waldie 3:41

Yeah, no, definitely a little different. But yeah, there's this like, huge thing about you know, your relationship status changing. So that was very much me. But you know, in this day and age, I think there's this idea of like, we got to get the word out, we want to share and it's very natural to be excited. But, you know, I think there's something to be said about, you know, we're talking a lot more in our society today about being present in the moment, practicing gratitude, or taking that breath. And I think when we're talking about engagement, it's not rush into all that excitement necessarily. Not saying you're not allowed to be excited, this is big, but just taking that moment, to step back and take that deep breath, and just enjoy this moment. And it can be, you know, three minutes, maybe 30 minutes, it can be three weeks, it can be three months, but it's actually just allowing that time to very naturally, you know, be focused on the fact that you are going through this huge transition in your relationship and not necessarily rushing on to the next thing

Sydney Spidell 4:42

And especially because if people like know, what's the first thing they do, but ask for details and ask for information, and you may be ready to share the news, but not necessarily ready to share plans or you may not have plans you may not have you know Pinterest boards full of ideas like some people we know, like, maybe I do or have? Maybe I know you don't have answers at the tip of your tongue. Right. And I think what's most important is realizing that you may be asked for this information, are you even prepared to start thinking about it? Because whether you want to or not somebody is going to ask and not is going to start that. So are you ready to start thinking about it? If not, maybe don't tell anyone.

Corina Waldie 5:26

Especially if you've decided to have a longer engagement, you know, more and more as couples are paying for their own weddings, especially, we're seeing them set two years, sometimes even three years or more out from the date, they get engaged, because they want to save the money to be able to have the wedding that they want, in the way that they want. You know, you don't necessarily have to, as soon as you like you say, as soon as you start telling people, you typically invite that moment of "When are you getting married?", which then also invites that other lovely question, "And when are you having a baby?" Right? You know, it's always like, we're rushing ourselves to the next thing. And it's okay to say, I'm not prepared to talk about wedding planning. Yeah, I am, I'm prepared to just be engaged in to absorb myself in this moment. And, you know, to be honest, wedding planning in and of itself, it definitely can be on a shorter timeframe. I don't recommend it simply for you know, if you want certain vendors or things like that, but a wedding can be planned within the scope of a year. So if you're talking about a two or three year or, you know, longer engagement, it's totally okay to to to make that that break as long as you want.

Sydney Spidell 6:37

Well think about it in a year or two, okay, why not? Right. And also to I think so often, an engagement is seen as almost a means to an end, you know, it's like, Hey, we've done this whole ring thing, which means we're going to be married, but you know, it's not, it's not okay, now, you're super seriously dating. Right? An engaged person would probably resent that a little bit. But it's also not, you're almost married. You're not almost anything, you are something. Being engaged is a whole thing in and of itself. And it's a major step in a relationship that isn't actually about a wedding. You know, that's the byproduct of it. But your engagement isn't about the wedding. It's this,period of time that sets you up before you are legally and whatever culturally traditionally bound to this other human being in perpetuity. It's a time to be like, what is that going to look like? For real z's? How are we going to navigate that? What skills do we each need to develop before it's super permanent? You know, it's a team building exercise. It's the engagement, or the wedding planning process. That's, that's the exercise. But your relationship is the team that you're trying to build. So it's got to be what comes first. Not the wedding planning.

Corina Waldie 8:10

Yeah. You know, is also really important to note, you know, like, we have this tendency, and I know, it's because I've seen it so many times in one way or the other. But basically, there seems to be this tendency that the entire focus on the relationship almost shifts to wedding wedding wedding wedding. And then the sad part is, so these people will get married, and then not even really know who each other is because that foundation wasn't there that that those conversations weren't there to begin with. Now, for me, I know most couples do make the decision to live together and be in a committed, you know, relationship, by cohabiting. But you know, in my case with Jon and I, due to our personal beliefs at the time, we made the decision to not move in together, and one of the most important things or until our wedding till after our wedding, but one of the most important things that we did was actually premarital counseling.

Sydney Spidell 9:05

Mm hmm. Yeah. Well, I mean, exactly. So cohabitating is kind of akin to that engagement process, right? That's also not saying that somebody has to get married, and have a wedding and become engaged to have a committed relationship, but it's this stage of that relationship. That is, just so very key into figuring out what all the future is going to look like. Why not go into that with a tool belt as well equipped as possible, right? why not seek out the support that is available? And I think with premarital counseling, too, we have this I'm sorry, I punched the microphone. We have this idea in our heads of all of those movies that we've seen with the you know, wanting to get married in the Catholic Church and the priest is essentially appraising your compatibility and it's like you have to prove to a stranger that you deserve to get married, but you're arguing in front of them. And so that gets you into that theme where somebody is huffy and, and somebody checked out and angry and you know, what is that? That's just weird. That's media, right? That's a story to be told for entertainment. The reality of it is, is saying, Okay, here's a person with experience in helping human beings communicate with each other, in ways that they probably have roadblocks between and developing strategies to overcome those hurdles. That is just it. I mean, it's kindergarten, right? You're doing marriage kindergarten, children don't skip ahead to grade seven.

Well, and, you know, like, you were saying, how the Catholic priest and whatever and there's a video, you know, there's a movie to that vein. And, you know, even if your officiant if you're choosing to get married in a religious institution that requires it, even if you're having a civil ceremony, taking that time to sit down with a licensed counselor, you know, it has the same effect, because I don't, you know, speaking from my own relationship, in my own experience, when I went through this process, it wasn't until Jon and I got into premarital counseling. There was conversations we didn't even think to have until it was our pastor, that was marrying us at the time.

They've asked these questions before they know the answer. They know what you should be considering before. Yeah, yeah, no, make the big vow

Exactly. And, you know, it opened up conversations and started, you know, challenging us to think about, you know, different ways of looking at each other and learning to compromise. Because I think for, you know, all of us, we come into relationships with our own baggage, and our own preconceived notions about how something should be, and this can very quickly cross over into your relationship, and cause friction and cause drama, because, you know, you have this idea of wanting

Someone on the same page as you

Exactly. And a wedding, you know, when we talk about wedding planning, just circling back for a second, it tends to, you know, talk about wedding drama, because weddings tend to bring out drama, in every way it amplifies it, and it makes it so much more present, not only just, you know, within your own relationship, but with that of your family.

Yeah, I mean, that that whole working to build these strategies, working to do it all, like, it's not like this stuff is gonna end, it's just accelerated in this wedding planning process, it's just a little bit more. We've talked about this before, the drama is like all these things that you're going to keep on experiencing down the road, it's just sucked into one little bit. I mean, you're you're dealing with financial conversations that are deeply personal, you're dealing with trying to figure out family dynamics, when you've probably been raised in families that operate differently from one another. All of these things are going to be the same battles that you're going to be fighting down the road, it's just that suddenly there's this impetus for them all to come forward and be dealt with, right in that very moment. Why not take that for the opportunity it is and be like, Alright, here's, here's some stuff to get us going in the right direction. I think too, you know, this, this time spent through an engagement and figuring these things out. And, you know, okay, again, I feel like I do this every single time we talk because I get an idea. And I started talking about it. And then now got there, I got myself back, much quicker this time. Yeah, round of applause for me - woot - the vows. The vows are so central, I think when a person who marries people who asks these questions time and time again, it's because they hear people making these promises to each other, over and over again. If you're going to make those promises to each other, you got to be able to understand the scope of this promise. For me, I'm always going to bring this whole wedding conversation back to the vows. That is, that is the core, that is everything to me. And then that is why it doesn't matter where the wedding happens, who the wedding happens between, whether it's what somebody sees as a wedding, or it's something that they see completely different. Whatever, to me, it's the fact that you are standing there and making a commitment to another human being, a life commitment, whatever that looks like, a life and love commitment. Those vows, honestly, how can you, how can you make that promise to another person, if you haven't done the work to figure out what those should be? If you haven't gone through the motions to build that relationship toward the marriage that you want? Then what you're starting your marriage out with is I promise to and you're reading off of a script, and you're saying I do and whoop dee doo, what is it that you just said to that person?

Where's the meaning? Where's the intention? Yeah, where, you know, where is this going?

How does that translate? How can they hold you accountable to the vows that you make to that?

And, you know, let's just say the word. You know, I don't think any of us goes into marriage thinking it's going to end one day. You know, we all have this vision of like we lived happily ever after. And we all know, happily ever after, can be a whole crazy host of things. But, you know, I think most of us like I know for me, like, I hope we get to, you know, we are together until the day we both pass.

Yeah, right Notebook style, holding hands in bed, just read a story. Cute little snooze, never wake up

and hopefully this person that you're marrying, you want that with. The Vows are signifying that you're literally committing till death do you part, as you know, as long as the relationship is working, and it's healthy and those sorts of things, but if you're not proactively working towards that as your goal, what does that in sickness and in health till death do we part thing even really mean?

I feel like this is just very Scottish right now to you know, it's like, (in Scottish accent) I'm a Man of my Honour. I stand by my word that I made at the altar beside ya. (normal voice) Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I need to go watch some Outlander or something. But you know, it is, we have gotten away from our word meaning something. I mean, in our society, we don't really have the same sort of foundation of promises. That has been held in different cultures, and different areas of history. And this is one of those situations where we just, it's this is a whole ceremony and a whole giant industry and a whole incredibly important thing that is entirely centered around giving your word to somebody. That's pretty cool. But like, does it mean anything to you? Yeah, it's, it's, I think it's being like, Okay, we're going somewhere. It's leading somewhere important. This is huge. We're engaged, man. Like, we're gonna make these promises in X amount of time. This is a big deal. How are we going to navigate this together?

Yeah, exactly. 100% to to have that, you know, is basically committing to grow with each other through the process and keep choosing one another, keep dating, you know, keep going out. Like, you know, just because

Corina, are you suggesting to our listeners that they go on dates with each other know how far no matter how far with our (gibberish) Yes. What a random thing. It's not like you've ever done that before?

Well, you know, I can tell you 10 years later, Jon and I still date, and we're intentional about it. Because it's important. You know, as life happens, it's your opportunity to come back to each other, to connect intentionally with each other. And it doesn't have to be big fancy, you know, things. It's as simple as saying, okay, like Saturday night, pizza couch, Netflix, us and you know, committing to that time,

It's not just It happens every night. It's like you're choosing - we're choosing to spend this time together, we're choosing to go to the library together and have a day in the stacks. You know, that was I winked for those of you that are listening and not watching here. But you know, yeah, like, just, it's like how we talked about before to, and we'll probably talk about next week, in more detail too, that setting it aside so that it's not wedding stuff, and it is strictly you time. Like, again, you're learning how to commit to moments with a person you're learning how to commit to being present with a person that is the same choice that you're going to be making every single day, post wedding.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, and everything. Because, you know, I know in our previous episodes, we've talked about the Checked-Out Charlie's and we've talked about the Perfection Peyton's and why they happen and etc. But in a lot of those cases, as we talked about, a lot of it came to a lack of boundaries. It's why these things happen. And it's saying that we're going to, you know, potentially set aside time, whatever works for your relationship. But we're not, it's not, all wedding all the time, 24/7, for the one year, two year, three years, however long you're engaged for, and saying that we're gonna take this time to still continue to do life together. The wedding will happen when the wedding happens, but we're going to be super intentional about this. But also, speaking of boundaries, I think, you know, it's obviously not in just our the relationship that you have. It's in, you know, the relationship and the dynamics with your own family starting from that moment that you share the news with your family.

Yeah, we finally figured out that this is a really big thing. Did you learn that in the last 15 minutes, we've been telling you like the big thing? Yeah, and I think one of those major reasons to wait on telling people is so that you can establish those boundaries. Because the more you practice being able to honour them and understand another person and hold space for them, the easier it's going to be for you to honour your own boundaries with other people outside of that person who should be your ultimate safe space. Right? It's okay, I've practiced this. And I know and you and I have worked at being okay with whatever direction we've chosen, but we know we're going to get pushed back, or we know it might not be what somebody else wants. And that can be so so hard to stand up for yourself, to not feel as though you're being rude. Here's your weekly reminder, set boundaries. It does not make you a jerk. No, there is nothing rude about owning your space and your needs. And if you've had, if you've established that conversation with your partner, then they are there or should be there to hold you up when you're reinforcing those boundaries, with your loved ones with your family, and vice versa. You are there to help them uphold their own with all the people that they're engaging with, honouring each other helps you honour yourself.

Yeah, very much so. And also, you know, like I said, kind of thinking about this, you know, you we've talked, we've established our relationship, and then now we're going to bring other people into it. Having those boundaries, really, you know, being each other's like, you're you and your partner being each other's ride and die through this crazy process of everybody and anybody having an opinion and how to make your wedding yours. It just gonna make you, make everything so much stronger in the long run.

Yeah, yeah, your boundaries to not be over run by somebody else's idea and create distance in your relationship because they're thinking about their interaction with you, and not thinking about your interaction with the person you're marrying, you know, as well meaning as it is to have somebody else's input in these situations, which primarily, if someone is giving you input on your wedding, they probably care about you. Yeah, right. Like, as well meaning as it is, if it's going to end up coming back between you and your person, you know, that's a pretty good place to draw a boundary. That's a good indication that, that there's something that either needs to be or should have been established around that thing.

Yeah, no, definitely. And I think, you know, as you you transition, okay, you know, you've had this moment, you've taken your time to breathe, and you've really kind of started to build these things, and you start to share news with people, you know, when people start asking those questions and sharing those opinions. You know, FYI, it is okay to say A- we don't know or B - we will share news with you when we're ready to share it. And

especially in this wedding landscape, too, right? Because things are not certain, certainly not the way they were before. No. And if you have a sibling, let's say who got married five years ago, their experience going through this industry is going to be vastly different from what yours is going to be today. Like, post COVID, this landscape looks so different than that. So being able to help like protect yourself and those relationships, as people may not actually totally understand what it is that you're going through. And also choosing the people to share with who maybe have a little bit more experience, so that they can help back you up in something that is an industry that is going to be very overwhelming right now. Yeah, you know, well, that's huge.

postponed, reschedule the all of the maybe we'll just change our plans entirely and get hitched in the backyard. Like I literally know, people who've done all three of those things.

It's not like people stopped getting getting engaged, when people stopped getting married for a time.

And so basically what we're seeing right now is literally what I'm referring to as the wild wild west. Be because not only do we have this massive influx of consumers, we're dealing with supply chains, supply chain issues, we're dealing with numerous vendors who had to close their doors throughout the pandemic for various, for obvious reasons. Because they couldn't continue to operate or function. So now we're dealing with also with a market that has less options available. And

we know, that more things are going to crop up to because the demand is going to be obvious. I mean, hey, we were giving you ideas right now. But, you know, pre COVID, when you had those businesses that just couldn't sustain through COVID, there was experience there, and a business starting up right now may not have that same level of experience, may not have that same level of understanding of the industry. And, you know, like, you just take a big gamble on, on certain situations being like, hey, I don't actually know if you know, what you're, you know, talking about, but you have a similar vibe to this person that I really wanted. And they're booked up for the next three years, and I just really wanted to get married on this date, and you're available. So I'm going to do it, I'm gonna put it down. And here's the money and whatever. And oh, great. This is somebody I should not have been working with, because of so many things. I mean, whether it's just like, you don't know what it was that you wanted, when you booked them, whether the contracts aren't there, if it was a friend of a friend there, there are so many things that can go wrong with that.

It's so so important to be a very savvy consumer, especially walking into the market right now. Because it is in such upheaval, you know, and when I say savvy, I'm talking about checking, you know, checking people's reviews. I'm talking, you know, making sure they have reviews making - asking them outright, if they're a newer business, what kind of experience do they have in the industry, because don't get me wrong, we all started somewhere. And I did a ton of event planning prior to becoming a wedding planner, and, um, you know, slowly built my portfolio of weddings in that way. But, you know, there's definitely making sure that you are, you know, checking with that person to make sure it's not some sort of predatory thing. And if somebody is asking you for a credit card, before they give you any information, like quotes, or contracts, or things like that, that is a big red flag, you know.

Turn and run.

You know, I sadly had a, somebody reached out to me not too long ago, who literally had a massive deposit for an elopement package that she found on Google, literally, just they disappeared overnight, their website disappeared, they disappeared, and all of a sudden now she's dealing with this nightmare of trying to find a replacement because she just decided to trust something. Yeah, right. So, it's so, so important to be super, super savvy, and request those things and do your due diligence. And I've said that I say this before, and I know is a super corny phrase, lawyers would probably like either roll their eyes or laugh at me one of the two, I don't really care, but it's covering your assets. Because weddings are a risky business, it's an event, there's a lot of things that can go wrong. It's making sure that not only you know, you have those contracts in place that you have written communication that clearly states what you what expect from each party

you talk about something, a change on the phone with someone that is okay. But send an email follow up confirming we discussed this, this and this making changes to that on this date, etc. Thank you

also is being really super and hyper aware about especially especially on site vendors being insured. Because you know, when I say on site vendors and talking about the vendors that will be with you at your wedding on your wedding day. So this would be venues, planners, florists, rental companies, photographers, videographers, making sure that they have that in place to protect you. Also, you know, isn't just about protecting themselves as much as it is about protecting you as the consumer. It's also purchasing your own wedding insurance.

Yeah, frankly, to just like you're saying, like, it's about protecting us, but you don't want to work with somebody who hasn't done the work to protect themselves too, right? Like, just because somebody just because a service or product provider is covering their own assets, does not mean that they're predatory. In fact, it might mean the opposite, as long as there is equal support for you as the client and all of their contracts and you know, verbiage and all of that. But yeah, the wedding insurance, because what is wedding insurance? Why don't we because I'm sure that that we have some listeners who are like, wait, wait, I can get insurance for my wedding?

Well, wedding insurance comes in many different forms, but primarily what we're looking at is liability insurance. Standard packages tend to be somewhere around the $5 million mark. And the reason that it is important to now just you know, side note, there is other coverages that you can look at, like cancellation insurance, which I can tell you no company that offers cancellation insurance will cover you for COVID. So don't think that's an option. But it could be things like photography, so if your photographer, let's say your photographer's photos, somehow get lost or destroyed, the insurance company would pay to have that reshot for you. Obviously, those memories would be lost, but at least you have that covered. So there's all sorts of other little coverages. Yeah, but when we talk about wedding insurance, wedding insurance, what we're primarily talking about is liability coverage, especially if you're serving liquor at your wedding, that will drastically change what your premiums will be if you're having a dry wedding versus liquor. Because

you're definitely don't want to have the most perfect day of your life, and then spend the wedding morning, you know, visiting a friend in the hospital after a car accident

Well, and then even goes one step further. So if you have a wedding, and let's say, your great uncle, great, Uncle George decides to get drunk and drive, and he goes out and he kills somebody - because he got drunk at your wedding, not only are you liable as the host of the wedding, your venue is liable. And whoever provided the liquor, so whether that was the venue, or bartending or catering service, as well, as planners, your planner, if you choose to have on are also liable in that circumstance. So it's making sure that you're really, like I said, just covering yourself. Because you don't want to get married, and all of a sudden be dealing with a huge lawsuit on top of your heads.

And that whole like chain reaction is the perfect evidence for why you want to work with people who are doing their due diligence to protect themselves as well, right? Because they're thinking about that whole potential situation that might unfold, and they're going like, okay, you know, we've seen some close calls here, I've learned from this, this mistake here. And I am laying down the groundwork so that I know my client will be able to be satisfied with the service I'm providing, because I have done this work. But you know, like, it just might mean that you might have to make a little bit of alterations to your expectations going forward throughout this planning process. It's not to say that you will not get the wedding of your dreams, it's not to say that it can't be the perfect day, whatever perfect means. But it does mean that maybe off-season, or weekday, or a morning wedding, you know, like things that are typically less popular, or spots that get booked a little bit less, depending on the venue. I mean, if you're booked all the time, you're probably booked all the time. But, you know, you're going to be able to bring in the things that, the elements that you really, really want. The things that are going to make the moment perfect. If you have a little bit more flexibility on some of the other things that are just typical.

which means it's high season somewhere.

(falsetto voice) What? I can get married in a way that's completely difficult, difficult, difficult, difficult, (normal voice) different. Wow, people. It's been a long day. My little commercial voice didn't even pay off for us. Yeah, there are alternatives such as I've heard of this thing called pop up weddings. Do you know anything about those Corina?

Very much so. So there is, you know, obviously, there's various pop up solutions that have popped up. Oh, I'm using pop a lot for the pandemic to allow you to get married. But right now we're just prepping to launch in January. So whenever you hear this, we may or may not be live with it but we are going to be launching our own series of pop ups that are a little different from the norm. Yeah, where we have set dates for each event. And on those dates is typically a two day event, we will marry six couples in two days because we're crazy people, while providing them with a luxury experience.

Yeah, so we're not - we've seen and love the idea of these smaller scale pop ups that are big on affordability and allow you to have so many trimmings that you may not otherwise on either short notice or short budget, or whatever it is. They exist and they're out there. And they are incredible options. And we highly encourage you to check those things out. But if you want the whole darn shebang, and you want to lift not a finger. Yeah, luxury pop ups are definitely an excellent option to investigate.

Because you know, anything that we do, we always got to think a little bit outside the box, at least. And so very much with our pop up experience that we're working on building for you

By the way Intimate Wed Pop-Up Weddings is what those are, give us a peek on Instagram,

@intimatewed.popups by the way. But what those are very much going to be is to give an alternative to couples that want to have that luxury, especially an elopement. Because these your guest list would be typically limited to around 10 to probably under 20, it's going to vary depending on what experience you sign up for.

But even particularly with COVID and different restrictions. That's kind of what we've grown a little bit accustomed to, but it's becoming something that is slightly preferred for many people. And it might also be your working option depending on where you are and the pandemic situation in your locale.

And our entire goal through these experiences that we're creating is to provide very much a very complete experience that goes above and beyond the standard pop up that's available right now. And also include, you know, include a lot of services that aren't typically included in most pop ups, provide a longer experience, and really make it so that you don't have to lift a finger. The only thing that we are intending to ask of our couples who are participating in these experiences are really the three things. And those three things are invite your guests, which we will provide you the invitations as well to invite your guests, as well as fill out a very simple, relatively simple questionnaire and buy wedding insurance, which will walk you through and of course, also arrange your attire and marriage license so sorry five things.

If you want to make that legal. Yeah, no, I do like that. You said the one thing is three things.

It's five things.

That's my favourite thing, we have one thing, and it's three things. And that's five things. But still the easiest 1-3-5 things ever that you could do to plan a wedding. Yeah. So there are options like people have the COVID situation has made people so creative. People are coming up with brilliant ideas like Intimate Wed Pop-Ups, I don't know where those girls got the idea. You know, I think there is as long as you're willing to broaden the scope of what it is that you're looking at looking for. There are going to be so many options. It's just about doing things a wee bit differently. There's the potential for civil ceremony at a courthouse and then doing a big party later. That's pretty common. There's the potential for post it noting it in the scrub room, like you're Derek and Meredith on Grey's Anatomy, whatever you want to do,

Also destination. Honestly as we people are to travel again, destination weddings are coming more and more in to play, you know is really starting to think about your your options and thinking about the things that you can do. And you know, going on a trip taking maybe a small group of your family and closest loved ones and take them on a trip and happen to get married while you are there because I don't know about you, but I am so tired of not going anywhere. If I'm asked to travel I'm there at this point.

Heck yeah

Yeah. But, you know, definitely if you're flexible, if you're open, if you're thinking about something beyond the traditional, you know, there is so much more that you can do.

Yeah, thanks COVID. Honestly, this has been a real opportunity for people to, also acknowledging the immense pain that this worldwide pandemic has caused in all seriousness, there are things that arise out of major upheaval. Creativity is something that always you know, rears its beautiful head in situations of major strain and strife. And this has been something that has sort of just been almost not a wake up call. Well, yeah, maybe for tons of people a wake up call also just permission to do things differently, very much to think differently.

And you know, and I think, you know, so many people are just really when you say do things differently and actually have the weddings that they want, yeah. You know, and not let loved ones opinions change that. And so

it goes right back to that that first minute, right? This is what we're saying. And right before you tell anybody, this is what this is, this is why you want to do that groundwork. This is why you want to take that breath, and set those priorities and set those boundaries and figure out okay, what does this mean for us going forward? Because, I mean, if you start from that point of open mindedness, can you imagine how much easier it's going to be to plan a wedding than it is to start from something totally prescribed, and then have the pandemic hit and need to change your plans, like this is a major opportunity to start your engagement off with a gift that so many other people have not gotten

Very much 100%. And that also sort of leads us to where we're going to go in our next episode. Talking about now that you have sort of set this tone you've set these boundaries, is how to then figure out what you actually want your wedding to look like. We're gonna have definitely a fun conversation,

because that's, that's work.

It's a lot of work, and how to figure those out. And then also how to communicate those to your loved ones in a way that is going to allow you to have a wedding that you really dream of.

Yeah, yeah, well, exactly. You gotta listen next week, I suppose. But if you can't wait until then, and you really, really want to know more, we do have a free e-book on our website, After You Get Engaged. You go to unweddingmovement.com, it'll be there and it can it'll, it'll walk you through every single step of this. Break this all down into detail. Maybe not quite so rambling and tangentially as we do in the podcasts, but certainly give you the tools you need, worksheets, fun quiz, to start your engagement journey and get it off on the right foot. But in the meantime, please feel free to join the conversation on TikTok on Instagram. Wherever you find our handle at the unwedding movement where it's just @unweddingmovement. I shouldn't have wilted up as though there was more coming. All right, @unweddingmovement

@unweddingmovement

So yeah, thanks for joining us this week, folks.

And until next time, cheers.

You can find us on the internet at unweddingmovement.com or on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Pinterest @unweddingmovement. Our podcast episodes are released weekly and available wherever you like to stream.